My Escape

what I’m looking for in a man:

• will lend me his hoodies
• good sense of humor
• is a cutie patootie
• will slay my enemies in a brutal display of violence and paint his face with their blood
• good taste in music

(Source: ohyousillypotato, via be4utiful-lies)

royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english  he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work

(via n-e-v-e-r-r-e-g-r-e-t)

i’d like to formally apologize to anyone i’ve disappointed with my terrible friendship skills

(Source: shotacuffs, via t00c00l-f0r-sch00l)

insecure-happiness:

don’t ever assume someone likes you because 10/10 times they don’t

(Source: aquus, via fake-mermaid)